Hey! I found this really funny list on fancynancypants.me and thought you’d enjoy it:
You know you are really sick when…
- You’re thinking, “I already know I’m really sick!”
- You try to make yourself throw up just to see if it will help you feel better
- On a scale from “dead” to “wonderfully healthy” you feel MUCH closer to dead
- You have your doctor on speed dial
- You moved your doctor to the top position on your speed dial (Sorry mom!)
- Your doctor is sick of you!
- You can’t remember what it’s like to feel healthy
- You wonder what it’s like to be healthy
- Trying to imagine you as a healthy person makes you feel sicker
- You wonder if it would be less or more painful to keel over
- You feel sick
- You feel really sick
- You fell really, really sick!
- Dr. Mario makes you angry. (Isn’t that stupid little plumber good for anything besides “saving” the stupid, tall princess??)
- You’re willing to try just about anything, including swallowing incredibly hot, burning things. Now your throat hurts too.
- You have the mood control of a two-year-old
- After months of rotting in the ground, your dead dog Spot — he was such an awesome dog — looks better than you do right now
- He smells better too
- Your tissues are pointy but you use them anyway
- A hazmat suit is required to visit you
- You don’t know the last time you showered, and you wouldn’t even consider one even if you had the strength to stand. Then again, you might have the strength… Nope, no you don’t. And now your body is bruised too.
- You sleep in the bathtub just in case and you still haven’t showered.
- You have considered amputation as a solution to your illness even though the “cure” to your illness doesn’t require amputation!
- If/when you can eat everything tastes the same: either like nothing or like terribleness.
- You look up stupid lists on the internet to distract yourself. It doesn’t work
- You make up stupid lists to distract yourself like what you’re going to eat when you can chew again, or the places you’ll visit. It also doesn’t help.
- You have Death on speed dial. He still doesn’t want you. (Hey, can you blame him? He doesn’t want to catch a death cold! They’re awful!)
- Despite Death not wanting you, you die from your illness anyway — (Man that sucks! But hey, Ghost Lady or Man, nice to have a spiritual following! If you haven’t done so already sign up for the blog updates, and thanks for reading!)
- You relate to several, if not all, of the things on this list. (Man, it really sucks to be you! ;))
Funny right! Anyway, get better soon dude! I want to play games!